A priest, a doctor and a lawyer were playing golf together one morning, but were stuck behind a particularly slow group. All three were complaining about how long the group were taking on each hole. Finally they spotted the green keeper, so they decided to have a word with him.
"That's a group of blind firefighters," explained the green keeper. "They lost their sight while saving our clubhouse last year. So we let them play here any time free of charge."
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "That's a good idea. And I'm going to consult all my textbooks to see if there isn't anything that can be done for them."
The lawyer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
What if Shikhar Dhawan was to be rated in corporate style after he hit a century against South Africa????
Dear Shikhar Dhawan, Firstly, congratulations on team India's 130 run victory against South Africa. That is very much appreciated.
We are pleased to announce that you have been awarded a rating of 'C' (Average Performer) for this match. We realised that your score of 137 was not required when India could win by 130 runs anyway. Only 7 runs from you were needed for the win.
We thank you for your efforts and we wish you all the best for rest of the series. Should you have any questions on the appraisal system, please feel free to contact us during your net practice.
An old man and his wife had just gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?" The old man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 7 to nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, Tie score." After about ten minutes later the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown I'm ahead 14-7." Now starting to get into this, the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown tie score." The old man strains really hard but to no avail; he can't fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and poops in the bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" The old man replies, "Half-Time, Switch-Sides"
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position. He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM....... ROBIN HOOD!!!
The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts robin hood's arrow into two!
He takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!
The crowd cheers!!!
Finally, a third man in cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!! It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!
Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... SORRY!!!
At dawn the telephone rings... "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot - he is dead." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?" "Si, Senor, that's the one." "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating the rotten