The president got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "Nice pigs, sir". The president replied, "These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback hogs.I got one for Hillary and I got one for Chelsea." The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice trade, sir."
As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards the Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened. "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!' He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!' We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you?", asked Bill. "Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me," said the driver. "My God, what did you tell them?", asks Clinton. The driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig."