Nelson Mandela is at home watching the box, when there is a knock at his door. He gets up and answers it, there is a Chinese bloke with clipboard, and behind him is a lorry full of exhaust pipes.
"You sign, you sign," yells the Chinese.
Nelson looks at the truck and tells the Chinese bloke that he has got the wrong bloke.
Next day Nelson is watching a film when there is a knock on his door. It's the same Chinese bloke and behind him is truck full
When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their "arguments" were very common.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.
The professor, in his arrogance, said, "Mr Gandhi: you do not understand... a pig
A man passed away and went to Heaven. When he arrived at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here." While walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse. The man questioned St. Peter, "What's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in Heaven?" "The clocks
A tea party in honour of freedom fighters was in progress at Giani Zail Singhs house. Two other former Presidents, Neelam Sanjiva Reddy and R. Venkataraman were also present. Suddenly a group of terrorists took over the party. They lined up all the three former Presidents for execution. As the firing squad got ready, Sanjiva Reddy yelled, "Earthquake!" and escaped in a commotion that followed. The executioners got ready again, and as they took aim, Venkataraman shouted, "Flood!" and he too escaped in the confusion. As the firing squad lined for the third time, Zail Singh decided to try the same idea and yelled, "Fire !!!!!"
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy
Q. What does JFK Jr. miss most about Martha s Vineyard? A. The runway. Q. What will they name the JFK Jr movie. ? A. Three funerals and a wedding. Q. What was JFK Jr drinking at the time of the crash ? A. Ocean Spray. Q. How did JFK Jr learn how to fly ? A. He took a crash course. Q. How are the Kennedy s like oil? A. They don t mix well with water. Observation: Used to be that Kennedies drowned their women one at a time! Rumor: We hear JFK, Jr. has a new