The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edenbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!" So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling belch, with a smell that.... The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!" "Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!"
Once Alia Bhatt was driving when she saw the flash of a traffic camera. She figured that her picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though she knew that she was not speeding.
Just to be sure, she went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now she began to think that this was quite funny, so she drove even slower as she passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed. She tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while she rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, she got five challans for driving without a seat belt... !!!
Adolf Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed. "Who was that!?" shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything. "I see," he said, "I will have 10 of you shot. And maybe then you will tell me who sneezed?" A Gestapo agent took 10 people out of the room. Shots were heard, then silence. "I will ask again," yelled Hitler, "who sneezed?" Again, nobody said anything. "Very vell," he said, "I will have another 10 of you shot!" The Gestapo agent escorted 10 more people out of the room and executed them. "For the very last time," screamed Hitler, "Who sneezed?" Finally the guilty officer could stand no more. He stood up and said, "It was me, my Fhrer. I am the one who sneezed." Hitler slowly approached the shaking officer and said, "Bless you."
Interviewer: Alia, according to you, which is the best team in IPL 7 so far? Alia Bhatt: Sunrisers Hyderabad because all have orange caps.
Deepika: Will you come to see my Chennai Express? Alia: No! IRCTC site is not working.
Alia Bhatt is so dumb that she thought Pani Puri, Sev Puri are all relatives of Amrish Puri. Chetan Bhagat: What's the opposite of IIT? Alia: U UCoffee.
Laloo Prasad was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton. The instructor told Laloo, "Laloo ji, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say how are you . Then Mr. Clinton should say, "I am fine, and you?" Now you should say me too. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is .... When Laloo Prasad met Clinton, he mistakenly said, "Who Are you?". Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha ha... Then Mori replied confidently, "Me too, ha ha ha." Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room.
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.