In the life of a common man, things are never serious. Starting from birth until the common man dies, everything remains so so common that you can make fun of almost everything. Some of such jokes can be found here.


In the 1920s, Dorothy Parker was establishing a reputation as a witty woman with a sharp tongue (the actress Mrs. Patrick Campbell called her, "My pretty, pretty cobra"). At the same time, Clare Booth Luce was becoming a respected journalist and well-known playwright. While both women were highly talented, their numerous political, philosophical, and personal differences resulted in a strained relationship.

One day, Parker was about to step through a doorway when she came face-to-face with Luce.

As the story goes, Mrs. Luce stepped aside, extended the palm of her hand, and said coyly, "Age before beauty."

Parker glided through the door, saying ever-so-sweetly, "Pearls before swine."
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ARIES: Can get super loud and rude after drinking.... can create a scene.

Taurus: These are generally graceful peopleeven after drinking a lot... they never misbehave.

Gemini: May drink a lot and may not talk a lot... they like to hv a good time though like they may sing loudly whn drunk.

Cancer: They can drink very fast.... may instigate others to drink as well. Forget when to stop.

Virgo: Are moderate drinkers.... never lose control
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Once at the time of the world war, the soldiers were looting all villages, of food, wine and women. Before they could enter one such village, the villagers decide to scoot, except for one young man, who had a 80-year-old grandmother. So the soldiers found the one occupied house and tore inside. "Bring us some food!" they demanded.

The young man said, "But I have only half a loaf of bread."

"War is War, bring us the food!"

So he gives his last morsel
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1. The man who removes his shoes to enter a taxi.

2. The man who goes to the bank with a spanner to open an account.

3. The man who watches n who goes to bed with a ruler just to know how long he has slept.

4. The man who watches news on TV... and waves at the news reader.

5. A nurse who wakes up a sleeping patient simply becos she forgot to give him sleeping pills.

6. The man who turns down the volume of his TV becos he wants
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The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testings were done three finalists remained. Richard, Sam and Jane were to be given a final test. For the final test, the FBI agents took Richard to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find Betty, your wife, sitting in a chair. Kill Her!"

Richard said, "You can
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An accountant dies and goes to heaven.
He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.
After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, "I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a remarkable man as yourself."
The accountant is perplexed. "I've tried to lead a good life, but I am overwhelmed by your welcome," he tells St. Peter.
"It's the least we can do for someone as special as you are. Imagine, living to the age of 160 and still looking so young," says St.
Peter.
The man looks even more dumbfounded and replies, "160? I don't know what you mean. I'm only 40."
St. Peter replies, "But that can't be right - we've seen your time sheets!"
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