Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


The wealthy old gentleman and his wife were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary and their three grown sons joined them for dinner.

The old man was rather irritated when he discovered that none of the boys had bothered to bring a gift, and after the meal, he drew them aside.

"You're all grown men," he said, "and old enough to hear this. Your mother and I have never been legally married."

"What?" gasped one of the sons. "Do you mean to say we're all bastards?"

"Yes," snapped the old man, "and cheap ones, too!"
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A man walks in a bank, gets in line and when it's his turn he pulls out a gun, and robs the bank.

Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, Did you see me rob this bank?

The customer replies, Yes!

The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head and BANG - shoots him in the head and kills him.

He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, Did You see me rob this bank?

The man calmly responds ... No, but my wife did!
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"I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor.
"Has she started to neglect you?"
"Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, she keeps the kids out of my hair. She lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to kinky sex or says she has a headache."
"So what's the problem?"
"Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers...
'Die! you son of a bitch, Die!!'
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Once a newly married couple had a quarrel as a consequence of which, all conversation between them stopped. Unfortunately the husband was to attend his office very early the next morning.
So he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning," and kept it beside his wife s pillow.
His wife read it and went to sleep.
He woke up very late the next morning and got very angry. He looked ferociously at his wife, but she calmly pointed towards his pillow. Under his pillow he found a piece of paper.
On it was written, "Please get up, it is 6 o clock now."
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When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhea.

Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."

Replied the widow, "Yes, I know that he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit that he really was."
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A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.

On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry.

When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting.

"Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.

"Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service."
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