Get all the jokes doing the rounds in the political arena.

 


God decided it was time to end the world, so he called together those whom he considered the three most influential people in the world. President of USA Barrack Obama, Chinese President Xi Jinping, and Prime Minister of India Manmohan Singh.

"The world will end," God told them. "You must go and tell the people."

Obama, made a live statement on TV, "I've good news and BAD news." he said. "The good news is that we have been right, there is a God. The bad news
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A man whose son was crushed to death by a soda vending machine has filed a $500,000 wrongful-death lawsuit against the company that manufactured the machine. The 27-year-old man apparently rocked the machine, which fell, pinning him against a wall and crushing his chest.

The father decided to sue after learning that his son's death was not an isolated incident. "The penalty for jiggling a machine to get a quarter out or a free Coke shouldn't be death," said the man's lawyer. The US Consumer Product Safety Commission found that between 1978 and 1995, at least 37 deaths and 113 injuries resulted from falling vending machines, which can weigh 1,000 pounds.
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When a 24-year-old man showed up at a British hospital emergency room with chest pains, doctors also heard a loud crunching sound each time his heart beat and felt air bubbles under his skin. According to the British Medical Journal, the patient disclosed that the day before he had blown up about 20 party balloons. Doctors concluded that the man had burst some of the little air sacs in his lungs when he blew up the first balloon, then inflated himself a little bit more each time he blew up another balloon. His symptoms cleared up within 10 days.
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Virtually every professional discipline within the American Medical Association's membership has decided to weigh in on the new health care plan being developed by President Obama's team, with varying thoughts and recommendations.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
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3-year-old Lateef Wise, Philadelphia, PA, was left home alone last week. At about 9:30 a.m., the frightened and crying boy pushed out the screen of an open window. Then he fell from the apartment, bounced off an air conditioner protruding from a second floor window and landed on a narrow amazingly got up, began to cry and started strip of grass. After hitting the ground Lateef walking around. Lateef was later released from a local hospital with just a minor larceration. The boy was left home alone due to a miscommunication between the parents.
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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
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