Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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The order was to account for the round consumed by a sentry on duty in a camp in the desert-by turning in the empty cases and showing what he had shot.
One night it was our Santa's turn. On the following morning the officer in charge found a shoe box tied with string on his desk. Upon opening it, he discovered five empty shells, a live rattlesnake and a note. Said the note: "I missed."
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Banta had been in the hospital for days. His nurse was extremely annoying and he couldn't take much more.
One day during breakfast, he took his apple juice container and poured it into a urine specimen cup the nurse had insisted he fill.
The nurse came in to check on him and looked at the specimen glass.
In her annoying voice, she snickered, "It seems we are a little cloudy today."
Banta put on his angry face, snatched the bottle out of her hand and drank it down in a few quick gulps, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again and maybe it will come out clearer this time."
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Jeeto came running up to Santa jumping for joy.
Not knowing how to react, Santa started jumping up and down along with her. "Why are we so happy?" Santa asked.
Jeeto, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about."
Jeeto stopped breathless from all the jumping up and down. "I'm pregnant!" she gasped.
Santa was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while. Santa grabbed her, kissed her, and started
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Santa and Banta left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly.
Banta screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face here!"
Santa sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. Banta rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?"
The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"
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Banta: "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
Santa: "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."
Banta: "Yes I do!"
Santa: "Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
Banta: "I'll take that big chair they all carry, and I'll stick it in his face until he backs down."
Santa: "Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair
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Santa was in the dentist's chair having a root canal done. Every so often the dentist would stick a large toothpick-like object into the tooth's canal to see how far he had drilled. Each time, this thing caused Santa great pain, but whenever he complained the dentist replied, "Oh, that doesn't hurt, it's just a measuring device."
This happened a couple more times. Again Santa complained and again he got the same response. Finally Santa sat up in the chair, took all the stuff out of his mouth and looked straight at the dentist.
"Excuse me for a moment," Santa said. "I have to go out to my truck, get my tape measure and whack you in the head with it. It shouldn't hurt, though. It's just a measuring device."
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