Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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Santa was driving through the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road.
An cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?"
"I've been to the pub," slurs Santa.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few."
"I did all right," Santa says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs Santa. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
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Banta walked through the forest when he heard a cry for help. He found a dwarf, stuck in a trap. He freed the dwarf, and the dwarf granted him two wishes.

"My first wish," Banta said, "is a bottle of whiskey that will never be empty."

And flash, there was the bottle. Banta opened it, and drank it empty. The next moment, the bottle was full again. Banta was very happy.

"What is your second wish," the dwarf asked?

Banta replied, "I want another bottle..."
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Banta went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school.
Banta called him and said , "Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this?"
"Not at all", replied the classmate. "I would be ashamed if I ate my meal here. I only work in this place."
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A man walks into a bar.

He says to the barman, "How tall is a penguin?"

The barman says about three feet.

The man says, "Don't you get any penguins taller than that!"

The barman says, "Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that."

The man says, "Oh shit, in that case I just drove over a nun."
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Santa is the English teacher in a school.
He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams.
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the English class.

This is what transpires :

Santa : " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Santa : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa : " Bolo bachon GADHA ,
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Once upon a time there was an archery contest.

The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...

He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.

Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!

The second archer with a cape lines up in position.

He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood's arrow into two!!!

He takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!

Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position... He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!

It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... SORRY!
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