Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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Banta was not home at his usual hour, and his wife, Preeto, was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was Banta, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

"Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.

He answered, "Don't get excited. I'm late because I bought something for the house."

Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"

Banta's answer was, "A round of drinks!"
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There was an english man, who was singing, "There was a cold day," whilst having a shit in cinema toilets.

Our Banta walks by and hears him singing, "There was a cold day, There was a cold day," he slam's the door wide open.

The englishman in a shock says, "What the bloody hell are u doin ?"

Banta replied, "Oh, sorry ! I thought you ar saying, 'Darwaza Khol De' (open the door)."
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A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returned from his assignment to Saudi Arabia.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Saudis?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch. But I had a problem. I didn't know how to speak Arabic. So I planned to convey the message through three posters. First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand totally exhausted and fainting.

Second poster: The man is grinking Coca-Cola.

Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed. And then these posters were posted all over the place.

"Terrific! That should have worked" said the friend.

"The hell it should have!" said the salesman. "No one told me they read from right to left."
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Banta and Preeto got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Preeto immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Banta started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"
"Preeto, Preeto," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept Preeto, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"You must tell me what has you so upset....Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, Preeto said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
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"How did it happen?" the doctor asked Banta as he set the Banta's broken leg.
"Well, doctor, 15 years ago..."
"Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."
"Like I was saying... 15 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.
I said, "No, everything is fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I'm sure," I said.
"Isn't there anything I can do for you???" she wanted to know.
"I reckon not," I replied.
"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What the hell does this story have to do with your broken leg?!?!?"
"Well, this morning," Banta explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"
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