Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.
The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.
The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?
Banta says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet."
The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you're no miner!"
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. 'Congratulations,' the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. 'You did superbly under cross-examination.' 'Thanks,' he said, 'but he sure had me worried.' 'How's that?' the lawyer asked. 'I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!'
One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course we were living at in Sarasota, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay, what's your name?"
"It's Jack, and I'm OK thanks," I replied.
"Jack, forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered," but I don't think my wife would
Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?
Banta doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5.
Now, it's Banta's turn. He asks Einstein, "What goes up