Two Aussies, Hugo and Jake, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Hugo stumbled across an old lamp.
He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth. This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Hugo blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into BEER!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew EVER sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.
Jake looked disgustedly at Hugo whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment Jake said, "Nice going Hugo! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."
One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana.
Donald duck is impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana.
Mickey Mouse continues to listen. After completing the whole Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a big sigh and asks Mickey Mouse, "Mickey Mouse, tell me... who was the father of Lord Ram?"
Mickey Mouse cannot. Angry, Donald duck, again asks, " Mickey Mouse!!! tell me... what was the capital of Ram's kingdom!"
Mickey Mouse cannot answer again.
Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and MickeyMouse goes and collides with a wall. As soon as he collides with the wall,he gets up and starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to end....
How did this happen???
Think Think....
After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes Wall-Mickey (Valmiki)...
An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running. A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac (a woman who likes to have sex very often, esp. with lots of different men)." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying, "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense."
The judge asked, "What new evidence could you have?"
The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra Rs.5,00,000, and I just found out about it!"
One afternoon, this blonde drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to stop. Blonde rolls down the window and says, "How can I help you?" "I am the red jerk of the highway. You got something to eat?" With a smile in his face, blonde hands a sandwich to the guy in red and drives away. Not even five minutes later, he comes across another