The wife wanted to do some shopping during the day and so, at breakfast, she asked her husband for a hundred rupees. "Money, money, money!" he shouted at the top of his voice. "Every day of the week you want more money. If you ask me, I think you need brains more than you need money." "Perhaps so," his wife agreed, "but I asked you for what I thought you had the most of."
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any crackers?" Bar tender says, No. Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, "Got any crackers?" Bar tender says, No. Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, Got any crackers? Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! And if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!" Duck walks out. Duck comes back the next day and asks, "Got any nails?" Bar tender says, No. Duck says "Good. Got any crackers?"
At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.
As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, "Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein."
Beaming with pride, the minister said, "Why, thank you, brother!"
As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man's compliment. The more he thought, the more he became