Santa ne Live Radio Station call ki: Hello... ji ye Radio station hai ?
RJ: Ji Haan, boliye.
Santa: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ?
RJ: J Haan.
Santa: Yani ghar mein jo meri biwi Radio sun rahi hai... wo bhi sun rahi hogi..??
RJ (Gusse mein): Haaan bhai haan..!!!
Santa: Hello Jeeto! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai toh jaldi se Motor chala de... Main oopar chhat par toilet mein hoon aur tanki mein Paani khatam ho gaya hai...!!!
A scouser was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. "Who's he?" asked the scouser. "That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember any fact he experiences. Go and try him out." So the scouser goes over, and thinking he won
Banta comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pyajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food-boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog-food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over
A music hall entertainer is stopped by the police for having a faulty brake light and, on the back seat of the car, the policeman spots a whole set of knives.
He ask the man why he has them - doesn't he know it's against the law to carry knifes?
The man explains that the knifes are used in his act - he juggles them.
The policeman insists that the man gets out to show him, so he stands at the roadside performing his act.
Just then, another car drives by and the driver turns to his wife saying, "Thank goodness I gave up the demon drink - just look how the fucking police test you these days."
How to Make a man happy: 1. Feed him. 2. Sleep with him. 3. Leave him with peace. 4. Don't check his phone (Msgs). 5. Don't bother him with his movements. So whats so hard about that?
How to make a woman happy: It's really not too difficult but.... To make a woman happy, a man only needsto be: 1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master 7. A chef. 8. An electrician