A retired couple is lying in bed one night and are discussing all aspects of their future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?" husband asked wife.
After some thought, she said, "I'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age."
Then wife asked husband, "What will you do if I die first?"
Once a Blonde was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Blonde deserved more service. So, when the Blonde fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Blonde was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. "What is the matter?" Says his wife. He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else."
Banta was once visiting London. After a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of London, he found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, and eventually couldnt control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him, Hey, What do you think you re doing here? Banta: sorry I have to "Pee" Officer: No PP here okay? Follow me... The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.... Officer: Pee here.. have a nice day. Banta: Oh sir ... that is very nice of you, is this English courtesy ? Officer: No... This is Indian Embassy !!