God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates ............... "Look everything should be in balance. For every 10 deer's there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the united states. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension.... And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic
A minister visited an asylum for the mentally disturbed and was taken on a tour of the facilities by one of the resident doctors. Walking down the dismal, echoing corridors, the minister was troubled by the cries and groans of the patients coming from their rooms.
"I hope that I can be of some help and comfort to these poor souls," he told his guide.
The doctor stopped at a door and they looked through the small window.
A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.
The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
The Water representative says, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered
A patient complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night. "Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor said. "Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee." "OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, "No, we've already peed." Next time the patient came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So? Did you do as I said? "Yes, I did." "Did it help?" "Yes, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse." "How?" "As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little."
A carpenter on a building site rushed up to the site engineer. "Sir, Sir!" he cried, "Someone just dropped a trowel from the top of the scaffold and sliced my ear off!"
The site engineer immediately organized a search party to find the ear in the hope that micro-surgeon would be able to sew it on again, if it was well-preserved in ice and taken immediately to the hospital in a thermos flask.
"Here it is!" cried one of the searchers, waving an ear.
"No, that s not it," said the injured carpenter, mine had a pencil behind it!"