A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job...
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I don't have a wife," second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job."
He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says, "Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved."
At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period. "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt. "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?" "Right." "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?" "Er--right." "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?" "Again you're right." "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?" "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"?
Santa and his son were visiting America for the very first time. Santa was at a Local Food store going up and down the aisles with his son. Santa asked, "What is this?? Santa's son, "Powdered orange juice" Santa, "Powdered orange juice??" Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice." A few minutes later, in a different aisle Santa asked again, "And what is this?? Son, "Powdered milk" Santa, "Powdered milk??" Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!" A few minutes later, in a different aisle... Santa, "And give a look here!! Baby Powder !! What a country, What a country!"