Norias, Texas - Six men believed to be illegal aliens from Mexico were killed by a freight train while sleeping on the tracks. "The train crew saw some debris on the tracks," said Letty Garza, a spokeswoman for the Border Patrol. "That next split-second, they saw heads raise up and then six people were killed instantly."
Illegal aliens and transients sleep on the tracks because they think snakes won't get them there.
Smith went to Canada to seek his fortune as a lumberjack. He met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give him a job.
"Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told him. Smith didn't see this as a problem, so he went out with the Chainsaw and did his best.
He came back sweating like a pig. "Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman.
Three Insurance salesmen were having drinks and boasting about each companies' service.
The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and mailed a check on Wednesday evening."
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening."
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor, in the Sears Tower. One of our insured, who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor."
A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and... took all three before the local judge.
After listening to the sheriff's story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest: "Were you gambling, Father?"
The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, "Oh, Lord, forgive me!" and then said aloud: "No, your honor, I was not gambling."
"Were you gambling, Reverend?" the judge asked the minister.
The minister repeated the priest's actions and said, "No, your honor, I was not."
Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked: "Were you gambling, Rabbi?"
The rabbi eyed him coolly and replied, "With whom?"
A businessman was talking with his barber, when they both noticed a goofy-looking kid bouncing down the sidewalk. The barber whispered, "That's Johnnie, one of the stupidest kids you'll ever meet. Here, I'll show you." "Hey Johnnie! Come here!" yelled the barber. Johnnie came bouncing over "Hello Sir!" The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Johnnie he could keep the one of his choice. Johnnie looked long and hard at the dime and quarter and then quickly snapped the dime from the barber's hand. The barber looked at the businessman and said, "See, I told you." After his haircut, the businessman caught up with Johnnie and asked him why he chose the dime. Johnnie looked at him in the eye and said, "If I take the quarter, the game is over."