Santa and Banta meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. Banta has a little dog with him and, on the next green when Banta out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs. Santa is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says..., "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt??" Banta:"Somersaults." Santa: "Somersaults!!!!!! How many of them does it do?" Banta: "Mmm, depends on how hard I kick it up the ass!"
Banta was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the coffee, Banta realised he couldn't hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped. "Boxer!" called out the young woman's mother to the family dog, lying at Banta's feet. Relieved at the dog's having been blamed, Banta let another, slightly larger one go. "BOXER!" she called out sharply. "I've got it made," thought Banta to himself, "one more and I'll feel fine." So he let loose a really big one. "BOXER!!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before he shits on you!"
Santa is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. Banta comes in and asks Santa, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?" Santa: Some things you just can't explain. Banta: So what happened that is so horrible? Santa: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my buffallo milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over. Banta: That's not so bad, what's the big deal? Santa
Banta Singh and Santa Singh enrolled at the astronaut-training program at Houston, Texas. Before starting the program, the coordinator warned them that they would not be allowed a drop of alcoholic drink during the program and that they had to certify this in writing. Both agreed to this condition and began their training. After 2 months, both of them began to desperately crave for alcohol. They hatched up several schemes like trying to bribe the guard, but he would have