If you can convince a female in less than 5 minutes then she is your mom. If you can convince a female in 15 minutes then she is your sister. If you can convince a female in 30 minutes then she is your daughter. If you can convince a female in 1 hour then she is your girl friend. If you can convince a female in 3 hour then she is your lover. And ultimately....
If you can't or don't even get a chance to convince a female then she is your wife...!!!
A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to be really ticked if it's not ready on time!" she exclaimed suddenly. When she got home, she realized that she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the cupboard was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?" "Throw out an anchor, Sir." "What would you do if another storm sprang up aft ?" "Throw out another anchor, Sir." "And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?" "Throw out another anchor." "Hold on," said the Captain, "where are you getting all your anchors from?" "From the same place you re getting your storms, sir."
Santa and Banta meet in the street. Santa looked dejected and almost on the verge of tears. Banta said, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?" Santa said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me fifty lacs." "That's not bad." "Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew died and left me twenty lacs." "I'd like that." "Last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost a million." "The how come you look so glum?" "This week - nothing!"
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice, replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
A bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some day, and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment. Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had four weeks of life remaining before your death?" A gentleman