A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!" The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told
Santa, Banta, and one of their friend, Sunny, tried out for the same job as road stripers. The employer told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job. At the end of the first day Sunny head had painted 4 miles, Banta had painted 3.5 miles, and Santa had painted 10 miles. The employer was so exited he told Santa to keep it up and the job was his. The next day the Sunny painted 6 miles, Banta 7 miles, and Santa 5 miles. The
Santa was walking through Rose Garden in Chandigarh and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses. "Tsk Tsk!" said Santa to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help." So he walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?" "Fishing, sir." "Fishing, well how would you like to come have a drink with me?" The old man stood
Banta left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you did not see me for two or three days?" To which Banta replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he did not see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where Banta see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death, we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"