Bill pilled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, "My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!"
"What makes you say that?" the bartender inquired.
"Last week," Bill explained, "I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman and the post office guy came by, she'd run down the driveway, waving her arms and hollering, 'My old man's home! My old man's home!'"
Robert Shovestall, 37, shot himself while explaining gun safety to his wife in Glendale, CA, when he placed a .45-caliber pistol he thought was unloaded under his chin and pulled the trigger. Shovestall's wife told police that the incident occurred after her complaints about her husband's 70 guns prompted him to demonstrate to her they were safe.
After examining a patient the doctor took his wife aside and told her that her husband was gravely ill but there were 3 things she could do to ensure his survival.
1. Give him three nutritious meals every day. 2. Do not nag him. 3. Make love to him every night. While driving back home the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say ?"
"I am sorry dear but he said that you are not going to make it."
Which is the most dangerous Alphabet? Answer is 'W'. All the worries get initiated with 'W'... Who Why What When Which Whom Where War Wine Whisky Wealth Work Worries Woman & finally, believe it or not WIFE.
And the most dangerous question coming from W (wife). Woh kaun thi ?
All the major things a (W)oman needs in her lifetime start with the Letter 'M'? Man. Money. Make-Up. Motor Car. Movies. Masti. Mall. Last but not the least....the 2 most important...... Maid & Maaikewaale.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the wife stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself - and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.
She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders along a well-traveled stretch of highway. The location, at a bend in the road, allowed him to hide his car out of sight of oncoming traffic while setting up his radar to nab any speeders who passed by. He had used this location successfully a number of times, especially on holidays, and decided to use it again one Labor Day weekend.
The officer arrived at his hiding place and set himself up, settling