A new soldier, Banta, was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. Banta said, "Halt, who goes there?" The sergeant, who was driving, motioned to the back seat and said, "Brigadier." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You have to have a sticker on the windshield." The Brigadier yelled from the back, "Drive on!" Banta replied, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The Brigadier repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" Banta walked up to the rear window and said, "Sir, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or your driver?"
60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Michigan people sunbathe. 50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Michigan people plant gardens. 40 above - Italian cars won't start. Michigan people drive with the windows down. 32 above - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker. 20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Michigan people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we have decided to give the job to the other applicant." "And why would you be doing that
A priest rushed from church one day to keep a golf date. He was halfway down the first fairway, waiting to hit his second shot, when he heard the familiar "FORE!" and a ball slammed into his back. Soon the golfer who had made the drive was on the scene to offer his apologies. When the priest assured him that he was all right, the man smiled. "Thank goodness, Father!" he exclaimed. "I ve been playing this game for forty years, and now I can finally tell my friends that I've hit my first holy one!"
Beta: Mummy kya love marriage karne se ghar wale naraaz hote hain?
Maa: Tu pakka kisi churail ke chakkar mein hoga or yeh sab tujhe usi daayan ne kaha hoga, ladkiyan to bus ladkon ko fasane mein hi lagi rehti hain, jahan achcha ladka dekha shuru ho jaati hain. Beta meri baat dhyaan se suno.. inke chakkron mein kabhi mat padna, inse bach ke rehna, yeh bahut smart aur dhokebaaz type ki hoti hain aur inka koi deen-imaan bhi...
Beta: Aisa kuch nahi hai mom, woh to daddy bata rahe the ki aap dono ki love marriage hui thi.