"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."

The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Johnny"

"Yes, Father,' tis I."

"And who might be the woman you were with?"

"I shan't be tellin'you, Father. It would ruin her reputation."

"Well, Johnny, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

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A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.

"I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie.

Poof! A beer appeared.

Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women."

Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him.

"Oh, man this is the life," the guy thought. "I wish I never had to work again."

And poof! He was back at his desk in the government office!
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I ran into Jim at work yesterday. He had been out for a few days with the flu. I asked him how he was feeling.

"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience," he replied.

"Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?" I asked in stunned disbelief.

"Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, my wife ran out to meet them. I could hear her excitedly saying, 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"
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Who says India is not progressing?
It is making strides in every craft
In agriculture, in industry, in science and technology
Above all, in corruption and in graft.
There are scams after scams now
In every state and every department
You will find a stinking pot
Lying hidden in each compartment.
The bara sahib and the baba are easily bought by the lala
The mantri and santri both treat the criminal as their sala
The rate of corruption has also risen
From five to five thousand; I bet not to say of lower staff
IAS and IPS are in the CBI net.
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A minister would up the services one morning by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin, and said, "Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested and read the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please raise your hands."
Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Then said the preacher, "You are the people I want to talk to. There is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."
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After a few days on the new Earth, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?" The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that
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