Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them.
Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited.
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don t you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied, "No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."
An american born Desi returned to India and hired a tourist cab for sight seeing. When taken to the Taj Mahal in Agra, he asked how many years it took to build it. The guide replied 20 years. The American desi remarked You guys are lazy, in America we can build some thing like this in 5 years. At Red Fort in Dehli he asked the same question. The guide reduced the period to impress him and said Ten years. Only ten years The American Desi retorted: Did not I say you
When Steve's power mower broke down, his wife, Anna, kept dropping hints about getting it fixed before the grass got too tall, but the message wasn't sinking in, and Steve kept putting off the repairs.
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When Steve arrived at home one day, he found her sitting in the grass, clipping it by hand with a tiny pair of scissors.
Steve watched silently for a few minutes, then went into the house. Coming back in a few minutes, he handed her a toothbrush.
"When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the sidewalks."
Usually a student is blamed if she/he fails to secure pass marks. But we, students, sometimes think that it is not the fault of a student if one fails because a year has only 365 days. Sunday - 52 Sundays in a year (they are meant for rest and watching TV) the remaining days are 313. Summer Holidays - 60 days (weather is so hot and it's difficult to study). Eight hours of daily sleep, which means 122 days in a year what is left is 131 days.
In the 1920s, Dorothy Parker was establishing a reputation as a witty woman with a sharp tongue (the actress Mrs. Patrick Campbell called her, "My pretty, pretty cobra"). At the same time, Clare Booth Luce was becoming a respected journalist and well-known playwright. While both women were highly talented, their numerous political, philosophical, and personal differences resulted in a strained relationship.
One day, Parker was about to step through a doorway when she came face-to-face with Luce.
As the story goes, Mrs. Luce stepped aside, extended the palm of her hand, and said coyly, "Age before beauty."
Parker glided through the door, saying ever-so-sweetly, "Pearls before swine."