Banta went to helicopter flight training, wanting to learn to fly that day. The owner agreed to him up, and instruct him by radio. He showed him the start up, and basic procedures, and up he went. At 1000 feet, Banta radioed, "I'm doing great! I love it! I'm really getting the hang of it!" The instructor watched him climb to over 3000 feet, then watched in horror as the helicopter began a dive and crashed nearby. He ran over and pulled him from the wreck, asking, "What happened?" He said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, until I got cold and turned off that big fan."
Santa went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I get this weird feeling that there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, to check it out, but then I think there's somebody on top of it. I go back and forth, all night long, on top, under, on top, under... You gotta help me, Doc, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars that were all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got caught and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation and was about to walk awy when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked the man. "Ummm, yeah...," the driver replied. The officer grinned and said, "Ever catch all the fish?"