Once upon a time there were two blondes who had gone rock climbing. Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Ross!", and was relieved to hear a faint reply. "Okay Ross," shouted Robert, "I'm gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it 'round one of your legs and..." but before he could finish, he heard Ross call, "But both my legs are broke." Robert suggested his arms, to which the reply was, "They're broken too!" So finally, Ross held on with his mouth. Robert struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Robert said, "You right there mate?" Ross replied, "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS........"
The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help. The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe. The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe. The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, "Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?" The safe cracker replied, "Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!"
Joe was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Joe decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself.
So, one day, on the way home from work Joe took his old route