On leaving his office and reaching the tram stop, Banta found that the tram bound for his home had just started moving. Banta in his anxiety, to get home fast, ran after the tram. In the course of time, it was found that the race between the speeding tram and Banta ended with Banta reached home chasing the tram.
Gleefully upon entering the house, Banta exclaimed to his wife that he saved 2 Rupees chasing the home-bound tram! Mrs Banta, however, was not amused. In fact, she was quite upset and said, "After all you are only dumb-headed. Instead of chasing the tram, if only you had chased a taxi, you could have saved 50 Rupees instead of a mere 2 Rupees."
There is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.
Concerned about this, a woman organisation called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think us women are week, dumb, cantankerous...or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
A self-centered, unbelieving man... ok a lawyer... died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said. In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second." In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that's better than brick," the man said, "but show me the third." In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee. "I'll choose this room," he said. Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him. Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, "O.K., coffee break is over, back on your heads."
A duck walked into a general store, waddled up to the counter and asked: "Got any peanuts?"
"No," said the assistant.
The following day the duck was back again, "Got any peanuts?"
"No," said the assistant firmly.
The next day duck came in again, "Got any peanuts?"
"No," yelled the assistant. "I've told you we don't have any peanuts. If you come back in here again and ask for peanuts, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor."
The next day the duck came in again, "Got any nails?"