A flight attendant on an Airline's cross-country flight nervously announced about 30 minutes outbound from Chandigarh, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 110 passengers on board and only 40 dinners..."
When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited hard drinks during the entire journey in the flight."
Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, "If anyone wants to change his/her mind, we still have 35 dinners available!!!"
Little Johnnie's parents had tried everything to help his math grade: tutors, flash cards, "Hooked on Math," special learning centers, everything. Finally, they enrolled him in the local Catholic school. The very first day, he came home with a very serious look on his face, went straight to his room, and started studying. His mother was amazed. Books and paper were spread out everywhere and Little Johnnie was hard at work. As soon as dinner was through, he marched right back
Harry was a poor tailor whose shop was next door a 2 Star Restaurant. Every day for lunch, Harry would eat his black bread and herring in the small garden at the back of his shop. He would always smell the wonderful odours emanating from the next door restaurant's kitchen.
One day, the restaurant sent Harry an invoice. Harry went to see the manager to ask why.
The manager replied, "Youre enjoying my food, so you should pay for it."
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sits for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."