After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to the drivers window, he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel. "Ma'am," he said ."I'm afraid we're going to have to give you a Breathalyzer test to see whether or not you've been drinking." The test was taken and as the officer eyed the results, he said, "Lady, you've had a couple of stiff ones." "That's amazing!"the girl cried."You mean it shows that, too!"
This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will eventually become seniors.
"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY!!!"
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church either.
Banta and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State s patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters.
They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said Santa
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.
Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them
A New York City hotel sent thank-you letters to each of twelve hundred former guests for staying in the past several months. The problem was that they chose the wrong computerized mailing list. The thank-you letter was sent out to fifteen hundred people who had not stayed at that particular hotel.
One of the hotel managers discovered this mistake when the hotel switchboard started lighting up. The hotel was swamped with calls. Every line was ringing.