At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunken guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks. "Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?" The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you." "Oh! No... I don't want to git in... Ah want to git OUT!!!"
Santa took a trip to Sydney, Australia. While in a bar, an Autralian on the next stool, spoke to our Santa in a friendly manner. "Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?" "Yeah, that sounds pretty fair and exciting too," said Santa. The Australian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?" Santa
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."
"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
Santa and Banta were good hunters, Santa killed only Lions & Tigers and Banta killed only Deers. Once Banta asked Santa,"How is that you only kill lions & tigers and I kill only deers. Tell me the trick." Santa told him just go to a cave and imitate the noise of a sheep the lion comes out of the cave and shoot him then that quite easy. After two months Santa got the news that Banta was in the hospital. On questioning him he exclaimed that he did the same thing that he was told by Santa. He went outside a big cave and imitated the noise of a sheep but he did not know that Rajdhani Express was coming out from the cave
Banta walks into a restaurant with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. Banta says, "I'll have a burger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have the same" says the ostrich. A short time later, the waitress returns with the order. "That will be Rs 146.50 please," Banta reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment. The next day, Banta and his ostrich
A young man approached Banta for the hand of his daughter. Banta knew that the fellow earned nothing and was a loafer. 'I do not want my daughter to spend all her life with a gadha (donkey),' he told the suitor. 'I know,' replied the young man, 'that is why I want to marry her.'