A man in an automobile, who was stopped by a policeman for speeding, became very angry and called the traffic cop an ass. After he had paid his fine, the judge reproved him, for what he had said to the officer. "Then I mustn't call a policeman an ass?" he said. "Certainly not," said the judge. "You must not insult the police." "But you wouldn't mind if I called an ass a policeman, would you?" "Why, no, if it gives you satisfaction," answered his honor with a slight smile. The motorist turned to the man who had arrested him, and said: "Good-day, policeman."
Banta went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Banta called him and said , "Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this?" "Not at all", replied the classmate. "I would be ashamed if I ate my meal here. I only work in this place."
In his autobiography, "Treasure in clay", Bishop Fulton Sheen tells of getting lost in Philadelphia on his way to a lecture at the Town Hall. "I stopped to ask a few boys for directions. They told me where the Town Hall was and then asked, What are you going to do there?"
Bishop said, "I am giving a lecture on heaven and how to get there. Would you like to come and find out?" You re kidding; one boy said, "You don t even know the way to the Town Hall."
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The preacher said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Preacher."
The preacher questioned, "How come I don't see you except for Christmas and Easter?"