PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN - It Still Does Nothing SCSI - System Can't See It DOS - Defective Operating System BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM - I Blame Microsoft DEC - Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too. WWW - World Wide Wait MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code"
Santa and Banta were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other. Santa: Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal? Banta: Yes, I have Santa: Well, my father dug it. Banta: That is nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea? Santa: Yes, I have. Banta: Well, my father killed it.
An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old". "Where did you get this exact information?" "I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is billion years old."
Santa and Banta driving on a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. They were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled. Before Santa could say anything, Banta said, "Instead of fighting over whose fault it was, why don't we just celebrate that we were able to come out alive?" Santa said, "Yeah, good idea!" "I have a bottle of whisky in the trunk, why don