An Englishman, a Frenchman and a World Bank Economist are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Englishman. "They must be English!"
"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They are both naked and beautiful. They must be French!"
"You are both wrong," says the World Bank economist. "They have no clothes and no shelter. They have only an apple to eat and they're being told they're in Paradise. Clearly, they are Zimbabweans!"
Microsoft to sell Ad space in error messages Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression. "We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a "general protection fault" or "Illegal operation" warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director. The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operation shock, spoke to the young surgeon in training about it. "Don't worry about a thing, nurse," the young doctor assured her. "He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I wont take no
One day Mulla Nasrudin visited a large department store to buy his wife some nylon hose.
Inadvertently, he got caught in a mad rush at a counter where a bargain sale was going on. He soon found himself being pushed and stepped on by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and elbows out, he plowed through the crowd.
"You there!" said a woman. "Can't you act like a gentleman? "
"NOT ANYMORE," said Nasrudin. "I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A GENTLEMAN FOR AN HOUR. FROM NOW ON, I AM ACTING LIKE A LADY."