The Israeli Ambassador is sitting down with Yassir Arafat to try to work out a peace agreement. The Ambassador asks if he might first tell a story. Arafat tells him to go ahead. The Ambassador begins.
"When Moses was in the desert for 40 years, the Jews got very thirsty and Moses asked God for water and there appeared a beautiful lake. The Jews first drank and then bathed themselves. Moses did the same when it was his turn, but when he came out of the water, all his clothes were gone. "Moses shouted, 'Where are my clothes? Who took them?"' "The Jews answered, 'The Palestinians took them.'" Arafat quickly objected by saying that there were no Palestinians at that time. he Ambassador looks at Arafat and says, "RIGHT!!! NOW we can begin to negotiate.
This blonde was bored with driving her old BMW. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. So she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could
A meat counter clerk, who was drunk and had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer. "That really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger" Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. "This one," he said faintly, "will be $6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. "I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"
A prison governor is appalled by the poor standard of English used by the inmates of his prison. To rectify this problem he decides to employ a teacher from the local grammar school to set up remedial English classes.
In the first lesson, the teacher explains that she is going to start with the basics.
"Who knows what always comes after a sentence?" she asks.