ISDN - It Still Does Nothing APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity WWW - World Wide Wait DOS - Defunct Operating System IBM - I Blame Microsoft MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, purse a shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that the guy won't be able to tell the difference.
The guy downs the Scotch and says, "This Scotch is only ten years ten years old! I specifically asked for forty-year old Scotch."
Amazed, the bartender reaches into a locked cabinet underneath they bar and pulls out a bottle of twenty
Morris a young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife Sherry something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day Sherry, the blonde, goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband Morris, "Hi honey, "He says, How do you like your new phone?" "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there s one thing I don't understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor ?"
In a recovery room a man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery. His wife was sitting by his side holding his hand. His eyelids just opened for a few seconds.
He looked at his wife as if he was returning from out of body experience, hallowed by bright white light. With a broken smile and in a groggy voice he mumbled at his wife, "You are so beautiful."
Then he fell asleep and started snoring again waking up other recovering room surgery patients
A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?" The big woman replies, Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I'm blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. Also, the blond woman sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 220 pounds, and she is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blond who is 6'5, weighs 250 pounds, and she's a current professional kickboxer. Now, do you still want to tell that blond joke? The guy thinks about it a second and says, No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times.
Francis Bacon: One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century. A statesman, a philosopher, a writer, and a scientist, he was even rumored to have written some of Shakespeare's plays. How he died: Stuffing snow into a chicken. One afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a snowstorm and was struck by the wondrous notion that maybe snow could be used to preserve meat in the same way that salt was used. Determined to find out, he purchased a chicken from