A soldier serving overseas and far from home was very bitter and terribly upset when his girl wrote that she was breaking off their engagement and wanted her photograph back.
Being a sort of creative fellow, he went out and collected all the unwanted photographs that he could find from his buddies, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
Dear Mary, Regret cannot remember which one of these is of you... please keep your photo and return the others.
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary items together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, sat up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?" The voice replied, "No, I'm the Ice-Rink Manager!"
Two old men meet on a street corner. The first old man said, "Where have you been for the last couple of months?"
The second old man replied, "I was in jail."
The firsst old man asked, "You were in jail? Why were you in jail?"
He replied, "Well, about two months ago I was standing on a corner, and this beautiful young woman rushes up with a policeman, points to me and says, 'He is the man, officer, he is the one who attacked and raped me'."
The first old man said, "What? And you let her get away with it?"
Second old replied, "Well, I'll tell you, I felt so flattered, I admitted to it."
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
The Ant and the Grasshopper - Indian Version of story - too good and fact Original Story: The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
Indian Version: The Ant works hard in the withering heat all