Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual. "Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out. One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks Santa why. "Well" Santa says, "I have a friend in Canada and
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys full of youthful after-school enthusiasm came down his street beating merrily on every trashcan they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next
Nelson Mandela is at home watching the box, when there is a knock at his door. He gets up and answers it, there is a Chinese bloke with clipboard, and behind him is a lorry full of exhaust pipes.
"You sign, you sign," yells the Chinese.
Nelson looks at the truck and tells the Chinese bloke that he has got the wrong bloke.
Next day Nelson is watching a film when there is a knock on his door. It's the same Chinese bloke and behind him is truck full
Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.
He says, "Hey, you shit your pants?"
Santa says, "No."
He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around.
He then says, "Are you sure you did not shit your pants?"
Santa, "Yes, I am sure."
They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Santa is swatting the flys away. Banta stops his horse and gets off his horse. He then says, "Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did not shit your pants?"
A man walked into a bar with his alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."