Three nuns who had recently died where on their way to heaven. At the pearly gates they were met by St. Peter. Around the gates there was a collection of lights and bells. St. Peter stopped them and told them that they would each have to answer a question before they could enter through the pearly gates. St.: "What were the names of the two people in the garden of Eden?" 1st nun : "Adam and Eve" The lights flashed the bells rang and in she went through the
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in the classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Sonu do you see the tree outside? Sonu: Yes. Teacher: Tommy, do you see the grass outside? Sonu: Yes. Teacher: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky. Sonu: OK. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky. Teacher: Did you see God? Sonu: No. Teacher: That's my point
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques
However, no business was coming in. Sitting there, worrying, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to look busy, he picked up the phone and pretended he was negotiating a big deal.
He spoke loudly about big figures and huge commitments. Finally, he put down the phone and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home.
As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.
Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again.
This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt, then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.
By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much, so then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said.........."Not so strong tonight, are you Batman?"
In Oregon, dead people are forbidden to serve on juries! And, actual packaging instructions: ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: Do not iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN S COUGH MEDICINE: Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEPING AID): Warning: May cause drowsiness.