Boy: Hello Babe.... (11:45pm) Girl: (last seen at 11:46pm)
Boy: Hey please answer me :) ( 11:50pm) Girl: (last seen at 11:52pm)
Boy: But why do you treat me like that? Why don't you answer me? (12:00am) Girl: (last seen at 12:00am)
Boy: Ok good night dear, I just wanted to tell you that today I have received my salary worth Rs.50,000 and I have reserved 20k for your shopping... but I think...
Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other.
One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and turns to the obituaries page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realises that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier, was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry
One day, a scuba diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. Looking around, he saw a guy at the same depth without any scuba gear on, so, he decided to go down another 20 feet.
He took another look around, and low and behold, there was the same guy. I can't believe it, thought the scuba diver, I bet he can't go down another 25 feet.
So the diver goes down another 25 feet and, again, there is the guy!
Totally amazed, the scuba diver pulls out a chalkboard and writes, "How the heck are you able to go so deep and stay under so long without any equipment?"
The guy grabs the chalkboard and writes, "I'm drowning you moron!"
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
3. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
4. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
5. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
Two drunk, Santa and Banta, were walking along a dirt road one day when they came upon a pile of some brown stuff on the ground.
"Is that shit, Banta?" Santa said.
"I don't really know." Responded Banta as he bent over, "it smells like shit."
Santa leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. "It feels like shit!"
Banta too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth. "Sure tastes like shit, buddy! I think it's definitely shit."
"Hooooeee!" Responded Santa, "Good thing we didnt step in it!"