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A very religious man, Santa, lived right next door to Banta, an atheist. Santa prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord.
However, Banta's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas Santa's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day.
So one day, deep in prayer as usual
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These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.
One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.
"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm
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Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother- in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
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Mrs Santa went into a bank to withdraw some money. "Can you identify yourself?" asked the bank clerk.

Mrs Santa opened her handbag, took out a mirror, looked into it and said, "Yes, it's me and I am alright."
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Banta's wife, Preeto, goes to England to attend a two-week, company training session. Banta drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
Preeto answers, "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
Banta laughs and says, "An English girl !!!
Preeto kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later Banta picks her up in the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?"
"What I asked for, the English girl?!"
Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!!
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A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked up a rather simple looking fellow at the airport one day.

When the gentleman got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for.

The driver replied, "Why it's for lining it up at people so you can run them down".

"Ah I see", said the man.

With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman but at the last second swerves away and hears a loud bang, he looks curiously over at the passenger who is hanging out of the car with the door wide open: "I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!"
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Lawyers Article Count: 147

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Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

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