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Banta comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pyajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food-boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess.
Dishes on the counter, dog-food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE
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Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours, until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They type furiously, lines of code streaming across the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has
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A music hall entertainer is stopped by the police for having a faulty brake light and, on the back seat of the car, the policeman spots a whole set of knives.

He ask the man why he has them - doesn't he know it's against the law to carry knifes?

The man explains that the knifes are used in his act - he juggles them.

The policeman insists that the man gets out to show him, so he stands at the roadside performing his act.

Just then, another car drives by and the driver turns to his wife saying, "Thank goodness I gave up the demon drink - just look how the fucking police test you these days."
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How to Make a man happy:
1. Feed him.
2. Sleep with him.
3. Leave him with peace.
4. Don't check his phone (Msgs).
5. Don't bother him with his movements.
So whats so hard about that?

How to make a woman happy:
It's really not too difficult but.... To make a woman happy, a man only needsto be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef.
8. An electrician
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When it comes to friendship, here's what happens.

If a woman doesn't come home to her husband one night, and the next day she tells him she slept over at a friend's house, the man calls his wife's 10 best friends and none of them know anything about it.

If a man doesn't come home to his wife one night, and the next day he tells her he slept over at a friend's house, she calls her husband's 10 best friends-eight of them say he did sleep over, and two claim he's still there.
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More Articles ...

  1. Philosophy Class
  2. Innocence is Bliss!
  3. How do you like your eggs?

Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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