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After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice...

"Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train - yes, I know its the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart
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A group of bats is hanging around, upside down, as usual, mostly sleeping.

Suddenly one notices that Charlie is on the floor, standing upright and looking around.

"Hey, Charlie," he calls out. "What are you doing down there?"

Charlie looks up and says, "Yoga!"
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An old farmer had owned a large farm for many years. He had a huge man-made pond out back with a beautiful picnic area. For years it was the perfect place to unwind or hold a family get together. As the farmer grew older, his "Oasis" was used less and less. It eventually became the local swimming hole and while his neighbors occasionally took advantage of the pond, he rarely made an appearence.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond. He hadn't been
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Attention: Human Resources
Joe Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Joe works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Joe never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often Joe takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping

coffee breaks. Joe is an individual who
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A woman goes to the doctor, and shes beaten black and blue.

Doctor: What happened?

Woman, "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my boyfriend comes home drunk he knocks lumps out of me."

Doctor, "I think I might have a cure for that. When your boyfriend comes home drunk, just take a mug of tea and start swishing it around in your mouth but don't swallow it. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to his bed."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor no sign of bruising whatsoever.

Woman, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my boyfriend came home drunk, I swished with the tea. I just swished and swished, like washing machine and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor, "See how much keeping your fuckin mouth shut helps?"
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Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place... smack his ass again!"
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More Articles ...

  1. Post Dated Cheque
  2. The Lodger!
  3. Waaay too drunk...

Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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