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A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn''t see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn''t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Tommy," replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
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It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom:

Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:

Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars, return to class.
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Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realised that he desperately needed to go to the toilet. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.

Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.

Five minutes later. Billy returned looking more desperate and embarrassed.

"I can't find it", he admitted.

The teacher sat Billy down and
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Santa was one of the four persons who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. The Company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview.
Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told them that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person. He told them that he would call each of them in one at a time for a final interview
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An American and A Russian were arguing about the virtues of communism and democracy.
"Come on man!" said the American, "In a democracy you get to express your views. You have freedom. You know, I can anyday call President Bush an idiot!"
"What s so great about that," said the unimpressed Russian "so can I!"
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  1. Things law enforcement officials say:
  2. Logic!
  3. Wrong Side

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Women Article Count: 22

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Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

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Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

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