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One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town.

On a hot and dry Sunday, the village parson told his congregation, "There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home, pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for sending rain."

The people did as they were told and returned to church the following Sunday. But as soon as the parson saw them, he was furious...!

"We can't worship today. You do NOT yet believe," he said.

"But," they protested, "we prayed, and we do believe!"

"Believe???" he responded. "Then where are your umbrellas???"
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The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room.

"A football player."

"A doctor."

"An astronaut."

"The president."

"A fireman."

"A teacher."

"A race car driver."

Everyone that is, except Little Johnny. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still.

So she said to him, "Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Possible" Little Johnny replied.

"Possible?" asked the teacher.

"Yes," Little Johnny said. "My mom is always telling me I'm impossible. So when I get to be big, I want to be possible."
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A robust-looking gentleman ate a large meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some fine wine, and then he summoned the headwaiter.

Do you recall, he asked pleasantly, how a year ago, I ate just such a wonderful meal here and then, because I couldnt pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a beggar?

Im very sorry sir began the contrite headwaiter.

Oh, its quite all right. said the guest, but Im afraid Ill have to trouble you again
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Two girls board a crowded bus and one of them whispers to the other, "Watch me embarrass a man into giving me his seat."

Pushing her way through the crowd, she turned all of her charms upon a gentleman who looked like he might embarrass easily.

"My dear Mr. Wilson", she gushed, "Fancy meeting you here on the bus. I am glad to see you! Why you're almost a stranger. My, but I'm tired!"

The sedate gentleman looked up at the girl. He had never seen her before but he rose and said pleasantly, "Sit down, Mary, my girl. It isn't often I see you on washday. No wonder you're tired. Being pregnant isn't easy. By the way, don't deliver the wash until Thursday. My wife is going to the District Attorney's office to see whether or not she can get your husband out of jail."
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Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.

The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."

The second deaf man signed back, "Boy, you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me heck for being out so late."

The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?"

The second deaf man signed, "I turned out the light!"
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A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax.
After a while a dirty old beggar came up to her and said, "Good Morning luv, how about us going for a walk together now?"
"How dare you," yelped the woman, "what the hell do you think I am, some sort of cheap pickup?"
"Well then," said the beggar, "what are you doing in my bed?"
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  1. Before The Cellphones
  2. Before it Starts!
  3. Before It Starts

Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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