A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked
Joe spent the evening tossing down a number of beers at the local bar. It was after eleven o'clock when he finally staggered out into the cold and rainy night in an attempt to find his way home. With the weather as bad as it was, he soon became lost, and found himself wandering through the town Cemetery. He slipped while walking and fell headlong into a freshly dug grave. In his condition, the rain and mud proved too much to handle, and he couldn't manage to climb out. "Help
It was a fine summer evening at the local pub in Dublin. The bar was about half full. In one corner two fellows sat drinking pints. One fellow asks the other "Now where are ya from, me lad?" The second fellow replies "County Cork." The first fellow is amazed "Why that's were I hail from too! What may be your family name, then?" The second chap says "It be none other than O'Brien" "Why that is my clan, too. What a small world. And to what school did you go?
Nawab sahab has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you ve been out drinking again!!" "How did you know?" he asks. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."