One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together.
They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"
An insect falls into a mug of beer.... Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out. American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer. Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away. Indian: Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani: Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer. Relates the issue to Kashmir. Asks the Chinese for Military aid. Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.
A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his farm. After seeing the 1,000 acre spread, the Texan bragged that down home he could get into his car, drive all day, and by evening would not have gotten to the distant point of his ranch. The South Dakotan simply replied, "You know, I had a car like that once."
There were two friends. One Hindu, Pawan and the other Muslim, Javed. They were heavy boozers. Not a day passed without their meeting, which resulted in ending up at a bar. Everyone was fed up with their drinking habit. Even they were keen to stop drinking. But the urge to drink always got the better of them. Once they met in the morning. Being sober, they discuss their problem and came up with a solution. The Hindu says that it would be equal to eating the holy cow, and