In the life of a common man, things are never serious. Starting from birth until the common man dies, everything remains so so common that you can make fun of almost everything. Some of such jokes can be found here.


A scouser was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face.
"Who's he?" asked the scouser.
"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender.
"He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember any fact he experiences. Go and try him out."
So the scouser goes over, and thinking he won
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How to Make a man happy:
1. Feed him.
2. Sleep with him.
3. Leave him with peace.
4. Don't check his phone (Msgs).
5. Don't bother him with his movements.
So whats so hard about that?

How to make a woman happy:
It's really not too difficult but.... To make a woman happy, a man only needsto be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef.
8. An electrician
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A beat cop calls the Crime Branch on telephone.

Hello! Crime Branch?

Yes! This is Sergeant John.

Cop: Sir, We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.

Sergeant: Have you arrested the woman?

Cop: No sir. The floor is still wet!
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE
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An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:

"Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
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FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Is the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!'

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock the person out that talked bad about you.
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