There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband, for example...
A wife comes home late at night from being out of town and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling," he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say, 'Hello' to them?"
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point-he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn t home. "Well," the woman said "could I please wait for her?" "The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours. After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?" "She went to the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she coming?" "I don t really know," he said. "She s been there eleven years now,"
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear perfectly again. The elderly gentleman returned to the doctor's in a month for a final check on the new equipment. After some tests, the doctor proclaimed, "Your hearing is perfect!" "Thank you for helping me," replied the elderly man. "You're welcome," said the
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The 1st boy says:" Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!" The 2nd boy says:"Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!" The 3rd one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a Government employee. He stops working at 4:30pm and he is home by 3:45pm!"
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely.