One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that, "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill, "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom, "The smaller piece, of course."
Bil, "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"
Three Soldiers had just gotten out of the Army and decided to celebrate by taking a helicopter ride. One of the soldiers is eating a banana and says, "I wonder if wed be able to see it land, if I threw the peel out?" Out goes the peel and they all watch it but dont see it land. One of the others has a rock and says "This is bigger, we should be able to see it land." They all watch, but dont see it land. The last one takes a grenade out of his pocket, pulls
A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a Psychiatrist. The Psychiatrist gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the door, his wife comes to greet him. He tells her, "From now on, I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want dinner on the table. Now, get upstairs and lay out some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the guys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" "The undertaker!!!" she replies.